This "game" is taking Facebook by storm. Every year it begins on Facebook -- every day, beginning November 1st, you post something that you're thankful for. I did it last year. But this year as November 1st came and went, I made a somewhat conscious decision not to get into it this year. Why? Because some people (myself included) see the posts and think, "Congratulations, you have... Why do you feel the need to post it on Facebook? Maybe we don't care."
And I still felt that way as I saw the barrage of comments about thankfulness on November 2nd and most of the 3rd. Seriously - I'm happy that you have stuff to be thankful for. So do I. Why do we feel this need to share it all over Facebook? It's not really people sharing their blessings. It's bragging about the people in our lives or the things that we have. It's a big "In Your Face!" to everyone on our friend list. For example, we post that we're thankful for the wonderful husband we have who works hard, etc. And secretly we're thinking, "Because I know Janie So-and-So's husband is a real loser...maybe she'll get the message when she reads this."
Then, last night (November 3rd), I spent the evening working at our Church's Annual Turkey Supper. I talked to people I've known forever, some newer friends, and some I'd just met. As I looked at all the people working with me, all the people enjoying the dinner, and all the camaraderie in general happening around me, I realized what a bad attitude I had about this harmless game. Here I stood in the middle of a room with nearly six hundred people that came to eat, to share their time with others, and to be thankful together. I was so ... THANKFUL! to be part of it.
And it dawned on me - people aren't bragging or writing these posts to make others feel bad. They are truly sharing with the world (or at least our online part of it) how they feel to be surrounded by the people that they love, and how much they enjoy the things they have. For a change it's not a post about, "This person makes me so mad," or "I wish I had ..." It's a simple statement about being satisfied and appreciative of who and what we have. Instead of taking time to be negative, they're taking time to be positive and share the experience of being thankful with others. And couldn't we all use a little less negativity and a lot more happy?!
So, look for me to start posting what I'm thankful for! And Facebook friends, I'm sincerely happy that you have so many wonderful things to be thankful for in your lives!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Money, Money, Money ... Mo-ney!
"Some people got to have it. Some people really need it." -O'Jays
Being a stay-at-mom is incredibly rewarding in so many ways, however, money isn't one of those rewards. Which means budgeting becomes way more necessary than it did back before marriage or kids. And it's hard sometimes. It's hard to watch your friends or other family members do things and buy things that you can't do or buy right now because you're a one-income family.
Some people say, "Well, go get a job." Well, I have a job. Just because it doesn't earn a paycheck doesn't mean it's not a job. And in our situation for me to get a job wouldn't really add to our income - it would just pay for someone else to be with my children instead of me getting to be with them. Let me clarify: I don't regret for one single second my decision to be at home. I get to see every milestone, hear every silly story, and teach them the things I think are important as they grow.
That doesn't mean it isn't hard some days.
But I have found something to make it a little easier.
Mvelopes.com. It's a FREE website that helps you manage your finances and makes it easier to save for the things you want/need. If you are struggling to make your finances work for you (whether you stay at home or not), I urge you to give this site a try.
Now, I'm not perfect, and there has been a time or two when I've spent money but I've already maxed out my mvelope budget for that particular category. But the good thing is that after I do it, I see a big, ugly red number that says, "Hey - you overspent. Tsk, tsk." And the following month when I "fund" my mvelopes, instead of $100 in that budget, I'll only see $75 because I overspent last month. After you see those big, ugly red numbers a time or two, you'll really strive to do without if you've already spend your budget. Because it's amazing how those numbers can sound like your mom in your head.
Using this site, we've come a little way from the days where we lived paycheck to paycheck, which is no fun. And speaking of fun, don't forget to give yourself a little fun money or you'll never stick to your budget!
*If decide to use Mvelopes.com, please leave me a comment here to let me know how you liked it!
Being a stay-at-mom is incredibly rewarding in so many ways, however, money isn't one of those rewards. Which means budgeting becomes way more necessary than it did back before marriage or kids. And it's hard sometimes. It's hard to watch your friends or other family members do things and buy things that you can't do or buy right now because you're a one-income family.
Some people say, "Well, go get a job." Well, I have a job. Just because it doesn't earn a paycheck doesn't mean it's not a job. And in our situation for me to get a job wouldn't really add to our income - it would just pay for someone else to be with my children instead of me getting to be with them. Let me clarify: I don't regret for one single second my decision to be at home. I get to see every milestone, hear every silly story, and teach them the things I think are important as they grow.
That doesn't mean it isn't hard some days.
But I have found something to make it a little easier.
Mvelopes.com. It's a FREE website that helps you manage your finances and makes it easier to save for the things you want/need. If you are struggling to make your finances work for you (whether you stay at home or not), I urge you to give this site a try.
Now, I'm not perfect, and there has been a time or two when I've spent money but I've already maxed out my mvelope budget for that particular category. But the good thing is that after I do it, I see a big, ugly red number that says, "Hey - you overspent. Tsk, tsk." And the following month when I "fund" my mvelopes, instead of $100 in that budget, I'll only see $75 because I overspent last month. After you see those big, ugly red numbers a time or two, you'll really strive to do without if you've already spend your budget. Because it's amazing how those numbers can sound like your mom in your head.
Using this site, we've come a little way from the days where we lived paycheck to paycheck, which is no fun. And speaking of fun, don't forget to give yourself a little fun money or you'll never stick to your budget!
*If decide to use Mvelopes.com, please leave me a comment here to let me know how you liked it!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Headed for Crazy . . .
Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) is very rewarding ... most days.
However, you have days where it seems like all hell breaks loose and you want to run screaming down the street - and the only thing that's stopping you is the tiny shred of sanity (somewhere) reminding you that if you do that, when you get back to the house it will be in an even bigger state of disaster than it already is (which is part of what caused you to run screaming in the first place) because hey--when Mom's away, the toddler will play!
Those days happen, and at the end of those days, I fall into bed wondering an array of things from "I just need one day to myself..." to "When did I become Mommy Dearest?" And then I cry. Well - I would cry, but I'm too tired.
The next day, which is usually back to normal, I find myself wondering if I am terrible mom because I just want that one day to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, enjoy a cup of coffee and a couple chapters of a book, go shopping for myself, have lunch with a friend, go to dinner and movie with my hubby, and then head home where I can pamper myself a little before bed and then sleep, not having to worry about one of the kids getting up sick or scared in the middle of the night. You know - one day where you can be who you were before kids.
When you're with your children 24/7 it's easy to forget all about that person you used to be because it's so easy to focus on those sweet little faces who need you. And it's really easy for all the people around you to forget that, too. I find that often when I want a day to myself (and I don't mean a trip to the grocery store or doctor's office without kids, I mean a day to something for myself by myself), friends and family tend to say things like, "I can't believe you want to be away from your kids," or "What do you need a break from, you don't work?" or "I never got a break." And then in addition to feeling worse about myself, I also now want to strangle someone. Because, if you never got a break, then you know what I feel like and don't you wish someone would have offered to help you out? And I do want to be with grown-ups for a change, and it doesn't mean I don't love or miss my kids when I'm away. AND - What do you mean I don't work?!?!
Then guilt sets in. Are these people right? Am I a terrible mom?
No.
I'm human. And it's okay for me to want time to myself once in a while. It's okay for me to take that time. Because if you never take time for yourself, that's when Mommy Dearest creeps up on you.
*Mind you, I've never beaten my child with a wire hangar, but there are days when that sink overflowing with dishes taunts me from the kitchen and I know I can't get to it because no one is napping today; or a toy out of place sends me over the edge so I threaten to throw every single toy in the house in the garbage if I trip on that stupid Joker House one more time.*
Yes, time to yourself for yourself is important. And it helps me decompress and refresh myself. That way, I'm not Mommy Dearest, but rather Fun Mommy who loves playing with the Joker House and doesn't stress if I don't get the dishes done until tomorrow!
So if you're a fellow SAHM, don't beat yourself up because every now and again you dream of a day children-free...find that friend or family member who gets it and let them enjoy your children for a day while you go do something for yourself. And if you aren't a SAHM, put yourself in our shoes for a moment and instead of beating us up for wanting the time (we do that enough ourselves), offer to give us a day, or even just an hour or two. It often means more than you realize.
And understand that no one loves our children more than we do -- but even mommies need a kid-free bathroom break once in a while!
However, you have days where it seems like all hell breaks loose and you want to run screaming down the street - and the only thing that's stopping you is the tiny shred of sanity (somewhere) reminding you that if you do that, when you get back to the house it will be in an even bigger state of disaster than it already is (which is part of what caused you to run screaming in the first place) because hey--when Mom's away, the toddler will play!
Those days happen, and at the end of those days, I fall into bed wondering an array of things from "I just need one day to myself..." to "When did I become Mommy Dearest?" And then I cry. Well - I would cry, but I'm too tired.
The next day, which is usually back to normal, I find myself wondering if I am terrible mom because I just want that one day to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, enjoy a cup of coffee and a couple chapters of a book, go shopping for myself, have lunch with a friend, go to dinner and movie with my hubby, and then head home where I can pamper myself a little before bed and then sleep, not having to worry about one of the kids getting up sick or scared in the middle of the night. You know - one day where you can be who you were before kids.
When you're with your children 24/7 it's easy to forget all about that person you used to be because it's so easy to focus on those sweet little faces who need you. And it's really easy for all the people around you to forget that, too. I find that often when I want a day to myself (and I don't mean a trip to the grocery store or doctor's office without kids, I mean a day to something for myself by myself), friends and family tend to say things like, "I can't believe you want to be away from your kids," or "What do you need a break from, you don't work?" or "I never got a break." And then in addition to feeling worse about myself, I also now want to strangle someone. Because, if you never got a break, then you know what I feel like and don't you wish someone would have offered to help you out? And I do want to be with grown-ups for a change, and it doesn't mean I don't love or miss my kids when I'm away. AND - What do you mean I don't work?!?!
Then guilt sets in. Are these people right? Am I a terrible mom?
No.
I'm human. And it's okay for me to want time to myself once in a while. It's okay for me to take that time. Because if you never take time for yourself, that's when Mommy Dearest creeps up on you.
*Mind you, I've never beaten my child with a wire hangar, but there are days when that sink overflowing with dishes taunts me from the kitchen and I know I can't get to it because no one is napping today; or a toy out of place sends me over the edge so I threaten to throw every single toy in the house in the garbage if I trip on that stupid Joker House one more time.*
Yes, time to yourself for yourself is important. And it helps me decompress and refresh myself. That way, I'm not Mommy Dearest, but rather Fun Mommy who loves playing with the Joker House and doesn't stress if I don't get the dishes done until tomorrow!
So if you're a fellow SAHM, don't beat yourself up because every now and again you dream of a day children-free...find that friend or family member who gets it and let them enjoy your children for a day while you go do something for yourself. And if you aren't a SAHM, put yourself in our shoes for a moment and instead of beating us up for wanting the time (we do that enough ourselves), offer to give us a day, or even just an hour or two. It often means more than you realize.
And understand that no one loves our children more than we do -- but even mommies need a kid-free bathroom break once in a while!
Friday, July 20, 2012
At the beginning of this blog I made mention of how I was following "A Slob Comes Clean" in an attempt to get my own house in order. Update: I was doing some things, but I really hadn't made much progress until last week when my grandmother (thanks, Mamaw!) came over and helped me get started. When I looked at my house, I would just be paralyzed by all the things that needed to be done, and my brain could not even focus to figure out how to get started. So, I just didn't start. But then Mamaw arrived with her famous "toy rake" and plunged right into my living/play room. I tried to keep up. Several hours later the living/play room was clean and (since my dishwasher is broken) my kitchen was free of dirty dishes. After she left, I didn't want to lose my momentum so I got out my little vacuum and finally conquered those pesky cobwebs way up in the corners of the ceiling. The next two days were really nice, and I won't lie -- we headed to my parents' house to enjoy the pool! But when I came home in the evenings I straightened the kitchen (and cleaned up completely after supper), and then I even began work on the dining room, which I also use as a make-shift office. It isn't finished by any stretch, but just the few piles of papers and files being sorted, picked up off the floor, and moved to their proper place in the organizer bins has made a huge difference. Mikaela's room continues to be my Achilles' heel. She is about ready for the crib (she's been in a bassinet in our room), but I have not yet finished cleaning her nursery; I have not painted; and until a couple days ago, I hadn't even picked out bedding and a color scheme. I feel a bit better though because I finally did choose bedding, and when it arrives in the next day or two I will head to the store for paint! This weekend the hubster and I will finish cleaning and begin taping for paint. Next Thursday his family will be helping us paint at the weekly "art night." They just don't know it ... yet. :)
*Happy Sigh* I am starting to see results, and that keeps me heading in the right direction. Today I am going to tackle Peyton's bedroom. And maybe the desk in my kitchen. Yeah, me. Here I go!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Two Sides to Every Story
So, I just read this really obnoxious blog about how this girl hates her stay-at-home mom friends' posts about how hard they work, etc. The blog itself and the following comments stunned me.
"If it were an actual job, every mom would do it."
"So? I work and then have to come home and do all the stuff that you do."
"It's a luxury because being a working parent is more work because there's work and household duties which is more difficult than just having to child-rear and maintain the household."
"Big deal. I go to work and make decisions that affect hundreds of people every day. I don't need a parade."
"Why do they (stay-at-home-moms) think they deserve some kind of award for raising children they decided to have?"
And the list goes on.
My first issue with that whole blog is this -- it's Facebook, who cares? People are allowed to post whatever they want...you don't have to read it.
My BIG issue is -- why does it have to be a competition? Why aren't we allowed to post about our particularly busy day? Why are you allowed to vent about your job, but we aren't allowed to vent about ours? Why is it okay to bash each other for the lifestyle choices we have made for ourselves?
A lot of times stay-at-home moms are undervalued in society. People look at us and think/say, so you 'just' stay at home all day? I want to slap those people.
No, I don't need any reward or monetary compensation for staying home and "raising children I decided to have." Which is a statement in itself that really burns me up. I love my children dearly, and yes I wanted a family...but that doesn't mean every day is a song or that staying home with my kids is the easiest job in the world.
And yes, I understand that you have responsibilities at work and then come home to responsibilities there; but that doesn't mean stay-at-home moms have half the responsibility that you have ... it just means that we have different responsibilities. I, for one, run a home-based business in addition to my stay-at-home mom role. I am also a student. I also volunteer at my church and help run some of the ministries there. I am a photographer in my spare time.
I don't judge you for working instead of staying at home. So don't judge my choice to stay home because you don't know what my daily responsibilities are. Instead of tearing each other down because "I work harder than you" or "I do everything you do plus..." all women/mothers should be supporting each other. Let's be grown-ups and realize that we all work hard and every job we do has value whether it's outside the home or in.
"If it were an actual job, every mom would do it."
"So? I work and then have to come home and do all the stuff that you do."
"It's a luxury because being a working parent is more work because there's work and household duties which is more difficult than just having to child-rear and maintain the household."
"Big deal. I go to work and make decisions that affect hundreds of people every day. I don't need a parade."
"Why do they (stay-at-home-moms) think they deserve some kind of award for raising children they decided to have?"
And the list goes on.
My first issue with that whole blog is this -- it's Facebook, who cares? People are allowed to post whatever they want...you don't have to read it.
My BIG issue is -- why does it have to be a competition? Why aren't we allowed to post about our particularly busy day? Why are you allowed to vent about your job, but we aren't allowed to vent about ours? Why is it okay to bash each other for the lifestyle choices we have made for ourselves?
A lot of times stay-at-home moms are undervalued in society. People look at us and think/say, so you 'just' stay at home all day? I want to slap those people.
No, I don't need any reward or monetary compensation for staying home and "raising children I decided to have." Which is a statement in itself that really burns me up. I love my children dearly, and yes I wanted a family...but that doesn't mean every day is a song or that staying home with my kids is the easiest job in the world.
And yes, I understand that you have responsibilities at work and then come home to responsibilities there; but that doesn't mean stay-at-home moms have half the responsibility that you have ... it just means that we have different responsibilities. I, for one, run a home-based business in addition to my stay-at-home mom role. I am also a student. I also volunteer at my church and help run some of the ministries there. I am a photographer in my spare time.
I don't judge you for working instead of staying at home. So don't judge my choice to stay home because you don't know what my daily responsibilities are. Instead of tearing each other down because "I work harder than you" or "I do everything you do plus..." all women/mothers should be supporting each other. Let's be grown-ups and realize that we all work hard and every job we do has value whether it's outside the home or in.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sensitive
Worked at the hospital today taking newborn photographs. Planned on hitting the pool at Mom's house with the kiddos when I finished, but today was an ozone alert day. Meaning since I have asthma, I'm considered part of the 'sensitive' group advised to stay indoors. So instead of pretending I didn't know about the alert and going anyway, I was a responsible (bleh, who knew I had it in me?) grown-up and we stayed home. We had lunch with Miranda and a fun indoor playdate with Baby Loucie (my niece), Peyton, and Mikaela.
After they left I began working on my cleaning list ... which I had conveniently misplaced for the last three weeks as I worked on the wedding and Vacation Bible School. I started with dishes, since our dishwasher is still broken and I haven't had a chance to go look at new ones, AND our sink is starting to pile up. Next, my plan is to clean out the pantry and make my grocery list. After the kids go bed I'll clean the living room, or the 'playroom,' as Peyton calls it. I secretly call it the disaster zone. :/ Wish me luck. Because my reward to myself for finishing those goals tonight, is pool-time tomorrow!!!
After they left I began working on my cleaning list ... which I had conveniently misplaced for the last three weeks as I worked on the wedding and Vacation Bible School. I started with dishes, since our dishwasher is still broken and I haven't had a chance to go look at new ones, AND our sink is starting to pile up. Next, my plan is to clean out the pantry and make my grocery list. After the kids go bed I'll clean the living room, or the 'playroom,' as Peyton calls it. I secretly call it the disaster zone. :/ Wish me luck. Because my reward to myself for finishing those goals tonight, is pool-time tomorrow!!!
Monday, June 18, 2012
A Day of Nothing
The weekend of June 9th was an infamous weekend that will go down in the record books as possibly one of the worst weekends of all time. I am trying to remain somewhat professional, so I won't go into further detail, but suffice it to say that some people are just toddlers walking around in adult's clothing. That behavior at three isn't pretty sometimes, but there's time to teach. It's really ugly at twenty-something, and sadly, probably too late to correct.
And there's no rest for weary (or is that the wicked?) because on June 11th we kicked off Vacation Bible School and that went from 5:30pm to 8pm from the 11th through the 15th. I am lucky to have some wonderful ladies to work with in planning this particular event. And we have a lot of great help during. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm breathing a sigh of relief that it's over for this year.
Of course yesterday was Father's Day, so we made our rounds doing all the Father's Day meals, including the one I cooked at my house.
All of that being said - I had wonderful aspirations today to do a bunch of laundry, wash dishes (oh yes, because I need one more problem...our dishwasher is broken), and clean the bathrooms. Guess what I've actually done?
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