Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) is very rewarding ... most days.
However, you have days where it seems like all hell breaks loose and you want to run screaming down the street - and the only thing that's stopping you is the tiny shred of sanity (somewhere) reminding you that if you do that, when you get back to the house it will be in an even bigger state of disaster than it already is (which is part of what caused you to run screaming in the first place) because hey--when Mom's away, the toddler will play!
Those days happen, and at the end of those days, I fall into bed wondering an array of things from "I just need one day to myself..." to "When did I become Mommy Dearest?" And then I cry. Well - I would cry, but I'm too tired.
The next day, which is usually back to normal, I find myself wondering if I am terrible mom because I just want that one day to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, enjoy a cup of coffee and a couple chapters of a book, go shopping for myself, have lunch with a friend, go to dinner and movie with my hubby, and then head home where I can pamper myself a little before bed and then sleep, not having to worry about one of the kids getting up sick or scared in the middle of the night. You know - one day where you can be who you were before kids.
When you're with your children 24/7 it's easy to forget all about that person you used to be because it's so easy to focus on those sweet little faces who need you. And it's really easy for all the people around you to forget that, too. I find that often when I want a day to myself (and I don't mean a trip to the grocery store or doctor's office without kids, I mean a day to something for myself by myself), friends and family tend to say things like, "I can't believe you want to be away from your kids," or "What do you need a break from, you don't work?" or "I never got a break." And then in addition to feeling worse about myself, I also now want to strangle someone. Because, if you never got a break, then you know what I feel like and don't you wish someone would have offered to help you out? And I do want to be with grown-ups for a change, and it doesn't mean I don't love or miss my kids when I'm away. AND - What do you mean I don't work?!?!
Then guilt sets in. Are these people right? Am I a terrible mom?
No.
I'm human. And it's okay for me to want time to myself once in a while. It's okay for me to take that time. Because if you never take time for yourself, that's when Mommy Dearest creeps up on you.
*Mind you, I've never beaten my child with a wire hangar, but there are days when that sink overflowing with dishes taunts me from the kitchen and I know I can't get to it because no one is napping today; or a toy out of place sends me over the edge so I threaten to throw every single toy in the house in the garbage if I trip on that stupid Joker House one more time.*
Yes, time to yourself for yourself is important. And it helps me decompress and refresh myself. That way, I'm not Mommy Dearest, but rather Fun Mommy who loves playing with the Joker House and doesn't stress if I don't get the dishes done until tomorrow!
So if you're a fellow SAHM, don't beat yourself up because every now and again you dream of a day children-free...find that friend or family member who gets it and let them enjoy your children for a day while you go do something for yourself. And if you aren't a SAHM, put yourself in our shoes for a moment and instead of beating us up for wanting the time (we do that enough ourselves), offer to give us a day, or even just an hour or two. It often means more than you realize.
And understand that no one loves our children more than we do -- but even mommies need a kid-free bathroom break once in a while!
No comments:
Post a Comment